Hello Reader. I seldom ask why. Personally, I find it to be not really helpful. Knowing why something happened or didn't, or is or isn't, generally does not change the life situation. I suppose I would make a terrible scientist. But think of toddlers - Why Mommy why? But Daddy why why why? It's funny, that this is usually their first question. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that I don't need to know what that reason is. "A time to every purpose under heaven" (The Byrds). I am not a religious person. Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. I find myself in a life situation now that is causing me great distress. I chose to be here. I volunteered for this role and I thought I had a fair idea of how hard it was going to be when I took it on. There was a time when I thought that living in the palliative care ward for two months, sleeping on a little fold out chair and watching my husband die, was the hardest thing I could ever do. It turns out that being caregiver to both of my parents in their declining time is weightier than I could have imagined. I had an amazing conversation yesterday with an eighty-one year old European woman, a neighbour, who shares my feelings on reasons. And we talked about the "why" of where I find myself now. I think perhaps I still have more to learn about being truly kind. Just guessing, but I think probably we all need to learn more about that.
Peace, love, and joy,